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In Search of Solitude or Lockdown Burn-Out – Poem

I went outside

In search of solitude and peace of mind.

Away from the suffocating interior

To the quiet of a sunlit winter breeze.

But quiet is as quiet does.

Relentless signal beeps in the background

And someone’s chainsaw moans relentlessly.

Even the birds, a chaotic melee of sound that

Assaults me from all sides.

The breeze rising, shushing past

And cars drone up the road intermittently.

Cacophony reigns.

There is no room in my head anymore.

My gut churns again, over and over.

Is this life? What is my purpose? Where is the path?

Endless life surrounds me in its chaos,

My senses too overwhelmed to focus.

Without a path I am lost.

Without direction I am rudderless.

A desperate need to regain certainty,

In this state I am good for nothing and no one.

Powerless and motionless,

I crave white light and true silence.

And yet, the warm sun in my eyes,

The clean breath of not quite spring.

The waves of wind that wandering waft

The strands of my hair, caressing my face.

At least I can breathe in.

The chainsaw dies away and the cars

Are just stronger gusts of air now.

No clarity yet

But peace, maybe.

Breathe in again

And wait.

© Donna Sherriff 2021

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